Episode 1 - Spiritually Human - Origin Story - Final

Anastasia, the Spiritual Goth, shares her journey and experiences on her podcast, "Spiritually Human." She emphasizes that spirituality is about being a human being and delves into topics like healing, intuition, dating, and spiritual awakenings. She discusses her struggles with accepting her psychic abilities, having seen spirits since childhood but suppressing them due to fear. Through her podcast, she aims to create a space for authentic conversations about spirituality, self-discovery, and integrating spiritual gifts into everyday life. Anastasia recounts her upbringing in a Christian household, her journey to understanding and embracing her psychic abilities, and the impact of shutting off her spiritual gifts. She highlights the importance of connecting with oneself on a deep level and living authentically as a spiritual being in a disconnected world. Anastasia's podcast explores various spiritual topics, personal experiences, and the process of healing and self-discovery. I'm just a soul on a journey home Spiritually human, never alone Welcome to Spiritually Human Where being spiritual literally just means being a human being Because spirituality isn't out there, it's in you I'm Anastasia, the Spiritual Goth And this is where we get honest about healing, intuition, dating Spiritual awakenings, and what it means to be a spiritual being Having a very real, very human experience It is an honor to share this space with you today Thank you so much for being here friends Let's get into it I am so excited guys I have literally said I was going to do this for years And so many of you have told me that if I made a podcast You would listen to it So I hope that there are more than three people listening to this Honestly, it took me years to decide I wanted to actually jump the gun and make this podcast Because I feel like I just wasn't in the space to do it I started my awakening in 2020 That's only five years ago And yes, I have learned so much And I am very confident in my abilities now But there's so much healing So many dark nights of the souls So many quantum shifts that I needed to go through To get to the point where I'm at right now Where I'm finally feeling confident And I want to share everything that I've learned with you guys Because I've learned so much And I'm a teacher at heart I went to school for teaching I was an English teacher for five years And now I'm a spiritual teacher And I feel like a podcast is the perfect way to just share all the things that I've learned And share on a much grander scale And to be honest I created this podcast because I was tired of seeing spirituality packaged into something perfect And polished and disconnected And I've always been very adamant about explaining to my clients That spirituality is not about the crystals, the tarot, the astrology Those are tools Spirituality is the study of you You are spirituality When we really think about what spirituality is It is getting to know yourself on a very deep level It's not about just pulling cards and meditating when there's a full moon It is crying on the bathroom floor And cutting cords And healing childhood wounds And navigating your dating life And figuring out how to be a real person with an intuition That is what spirituality is That's why it's so hard and it's so multifaceted All of these tools that we're using as spiritual people Are just to get ourselves to learn so much more about ourselves So that we can live a good life That's what spirituality is Because when we learn ourselves Then we're able to connect to the much bigger things that life has to offer So this podcast is for anyone who's ever asked Am I doing this right? It's for the ones who have really big spiritual gifts And a high intuition And even bigger feelings Because spiritual people are very tapped in with their emotions It's a place for the in-betweens The breakdowns, the breakthroughs The weird dreams The existential spirals The tarot pulls at 2am You know exactly what I'm talking about I just wanted to create a space where we could talk about it all Like spirit guides And relationships To nervous system healing Intuition Aliens How to live spiritually in a world that is just so often disconnected This podcast is really about integration How do we integrate everything that we've learned? How do we start to understand who we are a little deeper? Some of the episodes are going to be just me rambling Which is crazy because I'm much more of a listener than a speaker And some of the episodes will be with my dear friends Other spiritual healers And just people who have a story to share that's deeply spiritual Which again, just means we're going to learn about a person's human experience on this planet Earth So now that you know why I'm making this Let me tell you how it all got started Because every spiritual healer has an origin story And this is mine I've been going on a lot of dates lately And it's so funny because everyone asks me the same question Like I'm a superhero or something What's your origin story? How did you know that you were spiritual? Or how did you know that you were psychic? And the only thing that I can say That typically makes people have so many other questions Is that I started to see spirits when I was a kid Ghosts We lived in this house in Victorville, California When I was in kindergarten or preschool One or the other So in that house there was this woman Who I used to see when I would go to the bathroom at night Like just standing at the end of the hallway Peeking around the corner It's literally so vivid to me When I try to imagine her in my mind right now I can still see her Because that's how ingrained this experience was And just a little fun fact that I don't tell people If you're listening to my podcast Then you're going to get all the nitty gritty details of my life That I don't share with people I actually went to bed until I was like too old Maybe ten I'm not even joking Because I was so afraid of going to the restroom at night Because I knew that I had an ability to see spirits And I did not always know what their intentions were And quite frankly I didn't care Because I was a child and I was just terrified There were too many nights where I woke up And was way too afraid of walking to the bathroom In the middle of the night So I would just end up wetting myself instead Because I saw someone just like hovering over the bathroom door So I always knew that I had some sort of gift But the thing is that I grew up in a really Christian household Like we did Bible study every single Sunday And my parents were just very religious in that sense So I also kind of had this idea that spirits might have been bad That they didn't have my best interest That they were demons for lack of a better word I was just really terrified that these entities could hurt me So I completely shut off I always knew that I could see spirits And there's no way for you to completely shut it off If you're that tapped in to being a psychic medium But I ignored it like the plague And I literally just acted like it did not exist So if I felt something I just wouldn't look Because I could always feel that feeling When there's someone staring at you But you know that if you turn around you're going to see something That's the feeling that I always had And here's the thing about your spiritual gifts when you ignore them When you shove them down so that you don't think about them And you pretend that they're not there A couple things happen One, your subconscious goes crazy And you have very vivid dreams that are scary Because you don't know where they're coming from Two, you start to have a serious amount of self-doubt In everything you do And three, you completely block your third eye and crown chakra So I tell this to all of my clients But we have seven chakras in our body The first five chakras everyone's kind of in touch with Because it's a part of the body But the sixth and the seventh chakras The third eye and the crown chakra Those are the spiritual ones Those are the ones that I call unattached to the matrix system The matrix system is the 3D body Outside of the matrix system is spirituality Most people are cynical of spirituality Because they have a blocked third eye and crown chakra Because think of it this way As you get older, you start to doubt yourself You start to live in the world You're told that you're making things up You're told that you need to get your head out of the clouds And into grass, right? You're told that you need to touch grass When you're told all of these things from childhood Your imagination, your abilities to intuit things It's kind of shut off If you're a spiritual person Who already has psychic mediumship abilities And you're intentionally blocking off Your third eye and crown chakra While the world is telling you That you should not be tuned into the supernatural Then you're completely blocked I always knew that I was an empath And I knew that I could feel people's emotions So I could be talking to someone and they could say Oh, I'm doing really well, I'm happy right now But I always knew the truth So I've always kind of been tuned into my abilities that way My clear cognizance was strong I kind of just like knew things without having any evidence But aside from that I kind of didn't really see spirits anymore Past 18 years old Because I had a really terrifying experience when I was 18 And I'll probably talk about it some other time So I just went and lived a normal-ish life I say normal-ish because I actually For many years did not sleep until the sun came up I'm not joking Even in college I would stay awake when the sun came up Then I would get three hours of sleep And then go to my 8 a.m. class And this is also because I knew That I felt spirits I shut it off But I was still afraid of my gifts Until a very late age Then COVID happened During COVID time I was an English teacher I taught middle school I also was in my third master's program I just thought that I would be in academia For the rest of my life I was like Okay, let me get this bachelor's degree in creative writing and literature From the new school Shout out Narwhals In New York City And then I came to L.A. And I was a part of the grad school at UFC And I got my master's in teaching Then I got a master's degree in English studies From National University Because they had, guess what? A degree in Gothic studies Which is insane And I really, really liked the program So I went and did an MSA in creative writing after that And I was just dead set on I'll teach middle school English for some years And then I'll move on to college And then I'll teach at the university level COVID happened And what I will say is I've always dealt with periods of depression It's been really hard for me And this is also very much tied to me Shutting off my abilities, by the way During COVID, I felt so alone I was so depressed I felt very sad being a teacher and teaching online Because my students were hurting And I could feel it Because, like I said, I'm an empath They would oftentimes message me and ask Miss Anastacio, when are we going back to school? I had kids taking classes from their bathtub Because they did not have any space in their home For privacy All of that took a toll on me And then when we went back to school The school treated COVID Like a political, financial thing And I could not do it anymore So I actually was on social media a lot And at the time, I was like Oh, I'm going to make a fashion account I kind of want to get involved We're just at home What am I going to do with my time? So I start being online more Following other fashion, goth influencers And this one influencer that I followed She actually started posting tarot readings And like I said, I was in a really dark place So I found her readings to be very helpful And weirdly in alignment with everything that I was going through So one day I messaged her And I don't even know where this came from But I was like I'm very interested in getting a tarot deck Like, what do you recommend? I kind of want to do it myself So she gives me the deck The Mystic Mondays deck as a recommendation And then the Tarot Bible as a book recommendation I order those two things And then I schedule a hangout with my friend She actually comes over to my house After literally four months of not hanging out with anyone Aside from my roommates She comes over and we're doing the social distance thing in our backyard And my deck came in the mail the day she came over And I opened it in front of her And I was like, do you want to read it? I've never touched a tarot deck in my entire life But the confidence in me asking her if she wants a reading And I give her the reading And it was honestly life-changing Obviously, because look what I do now But it was insane I gave her the reading And all of the words just fell out of my mouth Like it was something that I had been doing for years And yes, I used the book But I was so easily able to digest the book's information And then spew it out as if it were a psychic reading And she literally told me, jokingly Well, I guess we don't have to catch up anymore Because you just basically told me everything that I was going to tell you And something just clicked for me It is insane how quickly everything went from here I, maybe a week later Started to offer readings on Facebook To my friends and family And I was doing readings at the time via email So someone would tell me that they have a question And then I would write out their responses And type them out And post some really beautiful pictures of the cards And send them to my friends and family And I kept getting really good feedback And it just felt so right place, right time This is exactly what you should have been doing this entire time I started to sell them for $20 And I did this for a couple weeks And I was honestly terrified of my readings Because I just knew things that I shouldn't have known It literally just felt like I was exposing secrets of people that I've known for years And I knew things that they never would have ever told me in a million years I was able to see if someone was cheating on their spouse If someone had issues with drugs in the past If someone didn't want to be in their marriage anymore Those are things that these people who were co-workers Or previous people that I've known through the grapevine I should not have known these things And that to me was very pivotal It gave me so much confidence in myself And it helped me to believe in my abilities Because the things that I was exposing weren't just small, little Oh, you're not where you want to be in life They were like real human issues And it all came so naturally to me And so after I started to sell readings At the time, I was listening to a very popular sex podcast Shout out to Corinne Fisher and Christina Hutchinson at Guys We Fucked They were doing a really amazing thing during COVID Where they were giving free ad space to black female business owners At that point, I had already created a website, a logo Made an EIN and registered my business through an LLC And something kept nudging me to email them And I put it off for a couple weeks And I was just like, uh, my business is barely established But one day, I was like, okay, I'm going to do it So I sent them an email and I kind of just forgot about it And one day, while I was hungover Because we drank a lot during COVID, to be honest I woke up and I had thousands of new followers on Instagram And I was like, what is going on? Mind you, I had 700 followers at the time I was not established at all And then I go to my inbox and I have hundreds of messages in my inbox At this point, I was an English teacher And I was really struggling because I just had so much credit card debt Since I was in three master's programs And I was just in a really bad financial spot So it was really interesting because a lot of my readings Prior to messaging Guys We Fucked Were like, you're never going to have to worry about money again And so when that happened And I had hundreds of people in my inbox asking me for readings I knew that my life was changed I knew that there was something there And I knew that I was exactly where I was supposed to be Because it all happened so quickly I don't know where my business would be today If I never messaged Corinne and Christina Who I'm so forever grateful for Because Corinne actually hired me for her birthday party And I was so grateful because they both actually joined my spiritual coaching program And I got to meet with them on a weekly basis for months I knew that I was meant to teach spirituality Since I learned it so fast I literally, you guys, my friends used to call me Einstein I would go into Einstein mode Because I just shut off from the world I have severe ADHD And I hyper fixate and learn things So by the time that I had worked Corinne's birthday party I had already worked with a couple mentors Who helped me to get in touch with my mediumship abilities My psychic abilities Connect with my spirit guides I had learned so much I was a certified Reiki practitioner A certified past life regressionist I was completely booked all the time Just doing readings non-stop It was amazing And it was an unforgettable experience When you think about my spiritual awakening It literally happened in a matter of months And I started this business And it was both terrifying and so exciting I just flowed with it I literally got into the flow state I did not question myself I knew that I was able to accomplish whatever it is that I set my mind to 2020 didn't just break me It stripped me of everything that wasn't aligned with who I was supposed to become And then I started to align And I met myself for the first time Fun fact The year before I talked to a psychic on an app And he told me Your biggest problem Is that you are an intuitive person And I think that you're supposed to be doing what I do But you are running away from it And he taught me how to protect my energy And he taught me that I was in my own way And that all I needed to do was embrace my spiritual gifts And I was like That literally cannot be the answer to my problems Jokes on me because it was I always thought about spirituality as Like just like the most woowoo things So tarot cards, oracle cards Incense, candles, crystals And then as I started to walk the spiritual path so to speak I learned that it is literally about none of that In fact, it is all about being a human being When I started my spiritual journey I started to hyper fixate on the spiritual elements To the point where I forgot to be a human Like I literally forgot how to take care of myself as a human Because I was so stuck on getting downloads Communicating with spirit guides Not being here, not being present Then I found that I was kind of having a little bit of a dark night of the soul Things were a little dark And I wasn't happy And I was like, what is going on? Yes, I'm so tapped in But I'm so burnt out all the time And then I started to give readings to people that didn't resonate And I was like, what is happening? Aren't I just like always tapped in? Aren't I always right? I gave one reading to a woman and she was like None of that really fits And I read the reading back and I was like Oh my gosh, this reading is for me My spirit guides were like How are you supposed to water someone else's cup when yours is empty? They literally said that to me in the reading And so I took a nap I cleansed myself I took a break I went back to her I gave her a new reading and she was like, this fits And it clicked for me My spirit guides were like, no You need to nurture yourself as a human You need to have routines You need to ground yourself You need to go through the day to day And live life on this planet Touch grass Because you're a human being I started to then learn That you have to take care of yourself as a human Before you take care of yourself as a spiritual person And that's actually how my spiritual coaching program is also structured We do the routines The day to day We get through all of the negative self-talk That you're telling yourself as a human being And we clear that first Before we do the fun stuff It's really important for you to root down And embody your humanness Before you embody being a spiritual human So to be spiritually human Is to let yourself feel it all It's not about bypassing the pain It's about finding sacredness in the mess Not in spite of it A lot of the times we think Oh when we're going through spirituality We're just doing all this fun stuff Like full moon ceremonies and retreats It's not about that It's about the deep and the dark and the healing It's about looking at your shadows And figuring out who you are And who we are is really messy It's really messy And sometimes very painful And when you befriend the parts of yourself That you do not like That is spirituality And that's my journey And you know since 2020 I have had hundreds and hundreds of clients I have done three spiritual retreats One in Ojai, California The second an international retreat in Costa Rica The third in Sedona, Arizona And then I have one coming up this December in Hawaii Like I have done so much I never thought that I would be here By the way, shortly after COVID I quit teaching mid-school year Because it just did not feel in alignment I could not show up to work every day Every single day I felt miserable And when you're doing something that's not in alignment With who you are meant to be You are miserable So once I stood up for myself Even though it was really hard It was very very painful to leave my students mid-school year I knew that I was doing what was best for myself And also I was making more money reading Tarot Than I was teaching kids And I was the teacher who did everything I literally didn't even have a break period I taught seven classes I was the leadership advisor at school So I planned every school activity Including graduation, school dances, all of that stuff Six Flags, Universal Studios I did all of that And I was burning myself out And I did not want to do anything that felt like It was taking from me anymore So I started focusing on my spirituality And helping other people to connect with their spirituality too That is what the spiritual goth is all about It's about teaching you how to be spiritually human yourself Very important So that's how it all started But here's where I'm at now Because what spirituality means to me today Is really different from what I thought it meant even a year ago And I might repeat myself a little bit here On some of the things But first, spirituality is not a performance It's just not It's not about the crystals on a shelf Or talking in a soft voice Holding hands in a field of flowers Posting perfect rituals online It's not about trying to look healed It is about being real with where you are It's also about, like I said Not escaping your shadows Sitting with them I have literally cried on my bathroom floor And still pulled a card after I have manifested really big things And then immediately wanted to self-sabotage That is so spiritual too Because we are human beings Having a spiritual experience And vice versa Spirituality is not always love and light It is fear and grief and rage And expansion and surrender And the light does not always cancel the darkness Because they both get to exist Duality exists on purpose That's why I don't resonate with high vibe only faces That is not me If you're looking for a high vibe spiritual girly Then that is not me If you've had a reading with me, you know I am honest To a fault I just don't know how to sugar coat things It's just not in my personality Sagittarius Sun Mercury Mars and Capricorn Aries Moon Oh come on, none of that Sugar coats Scorpio rising It's not in my chart But also being spiritual to me is being honest And being honest is You know It's not always easy But it's necessary Lately, I've been going through What I'd like to call quantum leaps They're sudden massive inner shifts Where my reality starts to reflect a new version of me Faster than I can even catch up And the thing is Those leaps are really uncomfortable It's not always about Abundance and downloads Sometimes spirituality is so disorienting Sometimes it's crying while journaling Like who am I becoming I have cried so much this year More than I've cried in my entire life I am the girl who used to literally boast That I cried once a year That is what spirituality looks like to me right now It's not chasing a version of myself who has it all together But catching up to the version of me who Already knows how to help myself I know that there is A higher self version of me that exists That has all the answers And it is up to my 3D self to find them So if you're listening to this and wondering If your healing is taking too long If your intuition is too quiet If your journey is too messy I promise you it is not You're not doing it wrong You're just doing it human And that is exactly what makes it spiritual Okay, let's take a little bit of a break here from my story And get into some tarot Because it's kind of my specialty And also I really struggle with talking a lot It's a lot when I talk this much about me I'm not used to it But that's kind of what this podcast is about It's about doing the uncomfortable thing as well And putting yourself out there Because I feel like that's what I'm meant to do on this planet I'm meant to put myself out there The fourth node isn't Sagittarius I'm supposed to be free And I'm supposed to be adventurous and try new things So that is what we are doing But let's pull a card together to guide us as we start this journey Because we're starting it together You're right here with me We're doing it So I'm using the Ethereal Visions deck This is my favorite deck I am obsessed with it And I'm pulling a card for us as a collective I want you to take what resonates and leave the rest This is going to give us some, oh my gosh This is going to give us some good intel The cards that I just pulled are mad Crazy Insane Okay, so I was watching Kitchen Nightmares today While I was getting my nail done at the nail salon So this is why Sometimes when I watch British shows That I just start using British terms like mad You should have seen me when I was watching Doctor Who And I was binging it I was just using so many British slang words So yeah, we're all mad here Okay, so I got two cards Two cards flew out of the deck And these two cards are the Lovers and the Ten of Cups Nothing gets better than this This is Chef's Kiss, another ode to Gordon Ramsay These cards are literally perfect, guys So the Lovers card, it's about choices People look at the Lovers And sometimes they think that it's about romantic love It's not always about soulmates And a deep sort of love like that It's also about choosing something Choosing yourself, choosing your path, choosing alignment And honestly, after everything I've shared today This card feels like a reminder That we're constantly being invited to choose Choose integrity, choose connection Choose what is real over what is easy Then we have the Ten of Cups That is the ultimate vision That is the full body, soul level I didn't know this could be this good kind of fulfillment And what strikes me is that these two cards together Look like a path It's like first you choose, then you receive First you align, then you get everything you've ever wanted You get emotional abundance Everything flows in But it all starts with a choice And most people don't realize how spiritual it is To make decisions So if you're listening to this And wondering what your next step is Maybe it's simply choosing what already feels aligned Even if it scares you I'm going to give you a journal prompt with that Because, like I said, we're teaching, we're healing, we're learning There will always be journal prompts in my episodes Journal prompt for episode one is If I stopped trying to be spiritual And just let myself be fully human What truth would I finally allow myself to feel? Definitely take out your journal Maybe you can bookmark that little part When I think about that prompt If I stopped trying to be spiritual And just let myself be fully human It brings up a lot I think about the parts of myself that I used to hide The grief that I've bypassed The anger that I've shoved down The fear that I spiritualized instead of feeling And I did a lot of that I didn't really feel that I had the right Or the allowance to express myself growing up I never learned how to do that In an emotionally regulated way And, honestly, I'm learning now that Things are just never going to be Easy or spelled out in a way that is digestible But it's always about trying It's not about throwing away your tools It's about using them to meet your truth Not avoid it My most spiritual moments have been the ugliest ones The ones where I'm crying so hard because I have to let something go That's when I feel the most human I'd love to know how you guys are following this episode Like I said, it's not very easy for me to talk about myself For this amount of time Unless someone's interviewing me, then it's easy But, you know, just kind of going off the cuff And telling my story I'd love to know if it resonated with you So please do let me know And if this episode resonated with you just in general Just know that this is only the beginning Each week we're going deeper Into healing and love and grief Expansion And the things that we're often too afraid to say out loud In the next episode, we are Diving into something really fun and tender Dating while healing Dating while being a spiritual person What does that look like? The nervous system freakouts The connections that mirror you that are not supposed to stay And why love that's safe can actually feel terrifying When you've only known survival If you take one thing from this episode Let it be this You don't need to look spiritual to be in alignment You don't need to be healed to be worthy of love And you don't need to be perfect to be powerful You just need to be willing to feel That is what makes us spiritually human And that's what I've learned Spirituality is about feeling everything all the time Processing it, accepting it, and moving forward That is how we quantum leap That is how we grow That is exactly what we're supposed to be doing We're learning how to accept what life throws at us And then when you get really into spirituality You begin to manipulate your reality So that you can grow with life And not just let life happen to you Because life is not supposed to happen to you You are supposed to be living So thank you for listening to Spiritually Human If you've made it this far I appreciate you more than you know If this episode moved you in any way Or made you think or made you feel less alone By me sharing my story Please share it Send it to someone who gets it Tag me on Instagram at The Spiritual Goth In the next episode I am going to give you a very Very, very, very Exclusive deep dive into my previous relationships So that we can uncover the patterns And I'm going to show you how you can use The same sort of thought process that I used To evaluate my relationships And honestly, never make the same decisions again It's going to be really great So definitely tune into it I appreciate you so much Once again, I'll catch you in the next one Thank you for being here and listening to Spiritually Human If this episode resonated with you I'd love for you to leave a 5 star review And in the comment box Drop a question you want me to answer on the show It could be about love, career, your spiritual path Or anything that you're navigating I'll be pulling cards and channeling guidance For select questions in future episodes So yes, you might get a free tarot reading Just for showing some love You can find me on Instagram and every other platform At The Spiritual Goth Learn more about my services like Tarot, Past Life Regression, Reiki And courses at thespiritualgoth.com And remember Being spiritual is not about being perfect It is about being a human being I'll see you next time friends I'm just a soul on the journey home Spiritually Human Never alone