Open Your Eyes Script

The speaker shares a strange story about their journey of healing from something they didn't know they had. They describe feeling deeply troubled and having existential thoughts since childhood. They felt that they experienced things more intensely than others but didn't realize the impact it had on them. One day, they heard a voice telling them to open their eyes and it sparked a realization that they needed to see things differently. They embarked on an inner journey that only they could see, which led to clarity and healing. They emphasize the importance of looking deeper and sharing what they've learned. I've been wanting to share this strange story of how I healed from something I didn't know I had. It's a strange story and hard to explain, so I'd like to show you instead. Let's go back in time to 2017. I recently graduated college and was living on my own in Utah. This was my first job, and I was a new engineer. I've always liked solving complex problems, and I knew that chemical engineering was a good job for me. It made sense and paid the bills. The truth was that I was also suffering deeply at that time. I had always been suffering this way since I was a kid. I don't know why I've always had existential types of thoughts. I've seen dark things, deep things, and it seems like more so than the average people around me. I saw things that other people couldn't see, it seemed, but it's weird how this world normalizes things that are incredibly damaging. Small things add up and there's a ripple effect to behaviors that you can't always see right away. I was hot in it. I was used to the fog of anxiety, and hindsight is 20-20, but a lot of these things weren't obvious to me at the time. I went to work. I stayed in my apartment. I went to work. I did that on repeat, day after day. I'm not really sure that I ever had an all-time low, and I think that's the truth about this world is that life is complex. Most of us have fluctuating ups and downs and things to appreciate and things that bother us deeply, but we put up with well enough. That's more or less where I was at, but I think more so than other people was just the intensity that I experienced small things. I had questions that it seemed like nobody cared to ask, and all of this was starting to build up. The strange thing, though, is that it was imperceptible even to me. I couldn't see it at the time. And so if we go back to 2017, there was a day that changed everything for me, and today's changed. It's hard to explain. I can't remember if it was a Tuesday or a Thursday, but I remember coming home. I did my regular routine like always, and when I got up in the morning, that's when it happened. Open your eyes. I heard it. It was loud and strange because it felt like me. It was me. It was my voice. It left this impression on me like I should know something already. It's very strange to talk about because it was mystical, and this world doesn't really have a lot of ways we can talk about these things without somebody feeling crazy. I went back to work with my child locked and just really tense. I tried to concentrate on what I was doing, but I think a lot of people could tell that I was distracted. So I went off by myself and found a room out in the corners of a warehouse. I prayed to God, What do you mean, open my eyes? Open my eyes to what? It felt strange because it seemed like I should already know, but I didn't. At the time, I was experiencing things from my colleagues that were also starting to build up inside of my system, small things that were getting to me. I blew up on them one day, and I felt suddenly haunted by this question because I realized if this voice is telling me to open my eyes, then I must not be seeing. The question I became haunted by was, What does it mean to see if I'm not seeing? I remember after that day, I drove to the Great Salt Lake. I was just feeling so lost. I remember I was sitting in the parking lot, and I just felt so stressed, and then this song came on the radio, and it was called, Open Your Eyes. I started to have realizations that I knew already what I needed to open my eyes to, and that it was time to leave that place. So that's what I did. I told the voice I would do whatever I wanted, and it took me on an adventure that I can hardly describe. The road was passionate and intense. It was confusing at times, but it also always led to clarity. It was intelligent, like I like, and post-complex and simple at the same time. Some things were obvious while others were more cryptic. But I think the most interesting thing about this adventure I went on, with the voice inside of me, was that nobody could see it but me. This is the inner work journey, and it's slow and deliberate, but also satisfying and fulfilling. It changes you deeply and heals you deeply. I feel like I'm just an ordinary woman, but I've seen extraordinary things, and I want to share what I've learned, because it's not always obvious to the physical eye. There's so much more to sing and so much more to learn. The deeper I look, the more I find, and I'm still looking.