intro - 10_19_24, 9.19 AM

Two friends are starting a podcast called "This is What We Are Not Taking to Our Grave." They discuss their lives, being moms, and feeling unfulfilled. They want to share the things they would have kept hidden before and be more open about their experiences. They hope to make a difference and find inner joy through the podcast. Push those purple buttons. Purple? Yeah. Okay. I don't think I'm going to be able to take this seriously. Okay, what are the notes? Can we just skip this one? Literally no part of me wants to do this. I thought maybe we could, like, interview each other. I thought that that would be fun. Okay. Okay, I can't promise that I can stick to that, but... Is it recording your audio? It's not. Press your little... yeah. Just press it one time and then see if it bleeps. Okay. Nope. Okay, okay. Okay. All right, back at it. I feel like all of a sudden I'm getting, like, a little warm, a little toasty in here. A little roasted toasty. Doesn't help that I have no idea who's listening. He's for sure listening. He's going to be like, no, I have AirPods now, I don't need to listen. No. After we're done here, he's going to make fun of us. For ten years. Oh gosh, no. When the first episode comes out. Then he's going to make fun of us. He's going to be our number one hate commenter. He's going to bring us all the engagement, though. I'm so grateful. If nothing else, that Hank is a hater at heart. That's the most beautiful thing about it. Okay. Okay, I feel like... I feel like we should start by saying... Welcome. Not literally, but you know. This is what we are. Howdy, pals. Hello, hello. Stop, you can't laugh. If you laugh, I'm going to laugh. You have to somewhat take it seriously. I told you for sure that we were going to walk out of here with justice. To be fair, we had a lot of technical difficulties. I don't think we could have anticipated how bad that was going to be. I really thought that with all of my internet research, I had this part unlocked. I really... I kind of thought you did, too. I had the easy part. I thought this was going to be hard. I did, too. I thought you were going to be the one struggling. No, it's like I got the eye tracking on everything. Turns out my career was not a waste. I do know something. I've been telling you for years that you have transferable skills. It doesn't feel that way. Okay. Okay, let's go. You have to suffer it. Okay, but I'm just... Do I say... Okay, so I was thinking kind of like not saying the podcast name first, but kind of like... Can you say it at the end? Or we could say it at the beginning. At the end or beginning, but maybe introduce ourselves first. Not to go into who we are, but like... Like, hey, hi. I can start over. Hi, I'm Rowan. I'm Melissa. And then one of us can say, and this is what we're not taking to our grave. And then we can say, that's a mouthful. Could we have picked a longer podcast name? I don't think so. I like it. I love it. Okay. Okay. Are we supposed to look at the camera? I think so. That feels very contrived. I don't know where we're supposed to look, though. What special set of skills does it take to watch yourself being recorded? I think it just takes practice. Okay. We're going to do this. Okay. Hello. I love you. I hate listening to my voice on this thing. Hello. Hello. Hello. How are you? Hi. I'm doing very well. Why are you talking all paltry? I don't know. Okay. We're on now. Let's just go. Okay. Okay. Are you going first? Yeah. Okay. Hello, hello. Hello. I don't think I can do it. This is so hard. Okay. Every time I hear my voice, I cringe. I don't know how you're not cringing. I love your voice. Okay. Hello. Hello. Okay, wait. We have to decide where we're going from there, actually. Okay. Are you saying, hello, my name is Rowan? Should we just go for it? Yeah. Okay. I feel like we have to look at the camera for that one. Okay. I know it's kind of gross. Okay. Hi. My name is Rowan. Hi. My name is Alyssa. And this is our podcast. This is what we are not taking to our grave. Which is kind of a mouthful. I don't think we could have picked a longer podcast name. But it felt like the perfect description for what we're going to be doing here. It did. We are going to be talking about all of the things that five to ten years ago, we would have sworn we'd be taking to our grave. And we're not doing that anymore. No, we sure aren't. Not that we really ever kept any of it undercover before. We don't really believe in TMI. But I feel like showcasing it on the internet is a little different. I think that we were never really TMI with each other. That's fair. Or like very close friends. But there's a lot of things that a lot of people don't know about us. It's very true. And not that, like, oh, my God, we have these super interesting lives. But, like, there's a lot that has happened. And people would be like, wow. I would never have thought. Yeah. You know, I feel like we were definitely guilty of that cliche on the internet of showcasing only the good things. I mean, who doesn't, right? Like when I was a happily married mom influencer. You were really in your influence era. Oh, my gosh. And I was definitely happily married, you know, at 19, 20. For sure. So, Rowan, for those who don't know you, let's get to know you. Okay. So, how old are you? I'm 28. You're a month younger than me. Let me list this down. Tell me a little about yourself. Oh, gosh, now I'm on the spot. Well, I'm a mom. I'm a mom to a beautiful six-year-old boy who drives me absolutely insane most of the time. I own my own wedding photography business. I've been doing that for almost eight years now. And I'm probably a basic bitch, like the most basic bitch I'm like. But I thrive in it. I don't mind that about me. I lean into it, honestly. You really are. A lot of people will call me a basic bitch. Yeah. And I think it's because I match the basic bitch aesthetic. You do. But you are certainly a basic bitch. Oh, absolutely. Like, do I adore Sabrina Carpenter? Absolutely. Like, would kill to see her in concert. But, you know, I'm not, like, basic bitch in every single way. But it's neither here nor there. I still embrace it. It's a lifestyle, really. It really is. It really is. But, yeah, I know, like, it's so hard to talk about yourself. But I feel like the biggest things about me are my mom. I've had a business under my belt for almost eight years now. Lived in good old Tejas. Good old Tejas. We can't all be from California. We can't all be cool like you. I would like to be from Utah. You would thrive in Utah. Well, okay, let's let them get to know you as well. So, let's see. Well, we already established that you're almost 30. I am 27. For, like, six more days. I am 27. And then you'll be 28. I'm clinging to my age. What's the reason, though? Why are you so scared to grow up? I'm not so scared to grow up. I just don't want to be 28. I don't like that number. It's gross. I'm going to be 27 until I'm 30. And then we'll go back to normal. It's on brand for you? I don't know if that's how it works. Are you going to be one of those people that's like, oh, it's my 29th birthday, again, when you're, like, mid-30s? No. No. So, okay, so 27 is my favorite number. Because it's a multiple of three. But you don't expect it to be a multiple of three. 28 and 29 are gross. I like 28, actually. No. Those are gross numbers. When I turn 30, we will be throwing a death to my 20s party. Absolutely. All black? All black. Perfect. Beautiful. So it's not really about the age. It's the number. Okay. Fair enough. I will give you that. Well, what is something you can share about yourself? Who are you, Alyssa? This is so disgusting. It's so hard. I'm also a mom. Just kidding. I have three goblins. At one point, I was a mom to three under 14 months old. Oh, gosh. How she survived that, I will never know. So, obviously, I'm a twin mom. I work in early childhood education. And... I don't know. I know. What do we say about ourselves? I just feel like there's nothing super interesting in this season of life. I get that. You're actually in a really calm season of life right now. You're thriving. I'm bored. It's not good when you're bored. Because when you're bored, you look for the chaos. You do. Not in a healthy way. Just like your brain's de-stimulated way. De-stimulated. De-stimulated. Yes. I can't say that I don't have hobbies. Yeah? Because I have too many hobbies. Yeah. So, everyone's like, oh, what's your favorite hobby? I don't know. You want it in alphabetical order? Oh, man. Yeah. So, what is this podcast going to be about? All the things. All the things. Let me ask you this. What made us start this podcast? I knew you were going to ask me. I mean, I can answer it if you want. Do you want to switch it? You can ask me. No. So, was it two weeks ago? Three weeks ago? I think it was two. Yeah, two and a half weeks ago. I called Rowan in the middle of the day on my lunch break, and bless your poor heart, you were not prepared. I was not. I really wasn't. And I said, hey, Girly Pop, do you feel fulfilled in life? Yeah. And I immediately was like, no one's ever asked me this. No, I definitely do not. And that was a question that I had actually heard. I think it was Mary's podcast. Yeah, it was Mary's. That she was talking to her friends about it. And I remember thinking, oh, that's kind of a really gross question. Yeah. Because in theory, yeah. Like, I have a job that I like. I have my kids who I love. I'm in a very stable, healthy, beautiful, gross relationship. So gross. And so, in theory, yeah, I have all the things. Yeah. But I really struggle with being bored and being like, I'm not really doing anything that's going to make any kind of difference. Like, yes, I work with babies. I know that that's important work. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But, like, big picture. Yeah. Like, yes, I'm going to be making a difference in these children's lives. But not, like, in a bigger sense. Yeah. It kind of makes us feel – like, I think we took a step back and looked at our lives and it makes us realize how small we really are. Yeah. And it's not necessarily about being the most, like, popular person on the planet or doing the most and getting recognition, but realizing, you know, why are we not feeling this, like, inner joy and fulfillment when we're doing – or, like, we have technically all the things that, you know, would bring one fulfillment. Most people wait their lives to have kids and they think that's going to solve all their problems. And then you have children and you realize, although you adore them, there's more, you know. Yeah. It's a little cliché that we're more than mothers. But, unfortunately, that is so true. We are – but we don't really know what we are outside of that sometimes. Yeah. And so, throughout this conversation, I was like, man, I just wish that I had a passion project. Yeah. Like, a couple years ago, I did photography. I think I ended up doing it for two years. And I loved it. And it was so much fun because in the monotony of being a stay-at-home mom, it gave me something to look forward to, a way to be creative, a way to serve people, right? Because I did – for those who don't know, I did boudoir photography. And I was very proud of the fact that I did events and had sessions where people walked in feeling so insecure and nervous. And then they left being like, I'm a fucking bad bitch. Like, I just did that. Yeah. And, like, that was so amazing to know that I was a part of that, like, shift in their mindset. And so then, not having that anymore was – like, I didn't realize how much it had been weighing on me to not be able to, like – you know, like, kind of, like, serve people in that way. Yeah. Like, how can I be better about their body or their lives or the problems that they have? Because those things are so isolating. Yeah. Absolutely. And so at the end of that, I was like, we should just start a podcast. Yeah. And then we talked about it a little more and we were like, holy shit, we actually have these conversations all the time. All the time. Because we were like, what do we do a podcast over? Everybody does a podcast nowadays. Like, what are we going to talk about? And we realized that there was so many conversations that, one, people either don't have or they're doing behind closed doors. And honestly, we think we should talk about it. Yeah. So, all these beautiful, deep conversations that we have at 7 a.m. on a Tuesday. Seriously. Like, what is the meaning of life? So, you know, I really wish I did. I really wish I did. And I don't know if we'll discover that through this process, but honestly, what's the hope? I mean, hey, stranger things have happened. For real. Nothing. So, that's what this space is going to be. And I'm really excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. Even if this, we've talked about this so much. I'm talking like, I think we've been on this phone three hours a day minimum. For the last two weeks, my fiance said he's going to start billing her for all the time she's taking. But, like, even if all that this is, like, at the end, is a thing where we spent, you know, a few hours a week, a few hours a month, sitting down, just telling our stories. And then, in 20 years, our kids can sit down and listen. When our kids are in the throes of parenthood. When our kids are struggling to navigate their own marriages. Like, even if that's all that this ends up being, I still think that that's a beautiful thing. I agree. I think that, in a way, it's going to be cathartic. Maybe a little therapeutic for us. Shout out to Crystal. We'll see when this is over. And I do think that it doesn't hurt for us to have something to be excited about. Yeah. We spend a lot of life going through the motions. And that does not mean we don't have things we love or care about or are passionate about. But a lot of times, the reality is, we just work and we take care of our children and we do everything we need to for them. Yeah. And so we get a little lost in the motions of everything. I had someone tell me once. Weird. That they really hated. This is so funny that this came out of someone's mouth. That they really hated that I never had dreams. Like, I never had aspirations and I was never excited for things in the future. And I was like, Process, I'm barely making it to tomorrow. Did they tell you that you were a new twin mom? Oh, for sure. Gosh. And I was like, I don't have the brain capacity to be excited for things because I know that tomorrow I'm going to wake up and there's probably going to be poop on my wall somewhere. I just don't have it in me. You're the most beautiful, feral goblins in the world. And so being in a place in life now where I'm able to have dreams and have stuff to be excited about, it's really fun and I really want to just lean into it. Absolutely. I feel like since we started this idea and brainstorming and kind of coming up with everything we wanted this podcast to be, I feel like I've woken up a little happier. I'm not saying it's like leaps and bounds, but I've definitely looked forward to things because I feel like we're accessing parts of our brain that we just honestly forgot about for a while. Yeah. So, a long-winded way of saying that this podcast is going to be a place where we can have conversations about all the things. And we're going to be talking about all the things. Probably a little too much, but I'm very excited to see all the things that we can. I'm so excited. All the stuff that we can really dive into together. I'm really excited. I think that covers everything for the introduction, no? I think so. I mean, we really didn't want to do an introduction. Yeah. I begged for us to just skip this episode. And we honestly may not even. We may not even post this. We may not even post this. Because we don't know how we feel about it. It feels awkward. Yeah. It's harder to talk about ourselves. Can we not just put up a LinkedIn bio or something? Do you have a LinkedIn? I used to. I have one that says wedding photography and every once in a while I get random links to wedding photography and it's always these garbage prices and most bogus places. And I'm like, thank you for that. I don't want to do that at all. That's so funny. I was thinking, should we just take out our Instagram bios and just pop that in there? I think that mine still might be, what was it? Girlboss. Yeah. Gatekeep. Girlboss. Gatekeep. Gaslight. Girlboss. Three names. All you need in life. That's all you need to know about me. We're new to the recording side and it muted off for a second, but it's fine. Anyways, I think that that's it for this one. Yeah. We'll see if this one sees the light of day. We will. If it does see the light of day, you can expect our first For Real Life episode on October 31st. Spooky season. We're prepared. We're so ready. So this is Rowan. And this is Alyssa. And this is what we're not taking to our grave. We hope you'll join us. She really wants to say that was so lame. That was so cute. Okay. We're going to call that one. Bye. Bye. Alright, I think we're both gone. Look at that working. Who says that women can't do everything? Women at STEM. Is that what we are? Not at all, but it's so fun to say. I think it's more like women in AV. Ugh, but that doesn't sound as fun. WAV. Oh my gosh, have you seen that whole, like, I've always wanted to be a WAG on TikTok. The fuck is a WAG? Um, it's like women and girlfriend and they use it to like, talk about like, football wives and girlfriends and stuff. So like, it's like, oh, I'm a WAG for, you know, the Patriots. And there's like a whole like, section of TikTok where they're talking about that stuff. Our 4U pages are so different. Yeah, I don't know how I ended up on that, but. Um, I have recently become a hockey girlfriend. You are a hockey girlfriend, actually. I'm living my best life. And you are making hockey children. I'm probably the right way to say that, but you are in fact creating little gremlins that appreciate the art of hockey. It's the hockey sport. Oh, I'm so sorry. The hockey sport. Yep, the hockey sport. I know. As you can tell, I'm not a sports girlie at all. You're gonna be a hockey girl. I could probably be a hockey girl, but unfortunately I am marrying a football man. But I'm supportive of nothing else. I, however, will not pretend to say go team because I don't understand what's going on. You can explain it to me a million times and I'm like, uh-huh. It's not because I'm not smart. I just, I don't have it in me to care about football. Like, I'm never gonna be that girl putting it on the TV and be like, I'm watching football. I've started doing that with hockey. Because you actually enjoy it. Like, I'm not, okay, there is nothing wrong with actually enjoying something and watching it because you enjoy it. But I'm not the person who's gonna put it on to feel like I belong or, you know, I'm not gonna pretend. Life's too short to act like you like something you don't. Um, so the other day, Bryson and I tried to play the NCAA, the new football game that came out a while ago. Um, when I say that I have never felt more dumb than I did when I was playing this game. And while I don't identify as a, uh, gamer girl, I feel like I'm gamer girl adjacent. Oh, for sure. You are gamer girl adjacent. Same. Um, and so like, I can usually hold my own. Kinda. Yeah. Mm-mm. At one play, Bryson goes, good defense. I said, thank you. I pushed 700 buttons. You were just like, all of them? Like, was it one of the controllers? Yeah. I was just pushing shit. Yeah. No. That's how I am when I play, uh, no, it's not Mortal Kombat. Smash Bros? I don't know how to make those guys do what they need to do. I'm throwing it all in. I'm trying. I think that's actually how you play that. Like, you're telling me you know exactly which combination to push to get the move you want? I'm sorry. What is this? You just kinda jamble the buttons. I know. And you're like, meh. Which is all you do. Oh. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. 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