3 Chica's Episode 4

The conversation is about the dynamics of family relationships. The speakers discuss how some people are loyal to their family no matter what, while others believe that being family doesn't excuse mistreatment. They share personal experiences with their own families, including disagreements with parents and distant relationships with certain relatives. They also talk about the traditional gender roles and expectations in their Hispanic family. The conversation touches on the responsibility of taking care of aging parents and the challenges that come with it, especially when there are no siblings to share the burden. The speakers express their concerns about Alzheimer's and dementia, sharing stories of their grandparents and stepfather's family. Hi, this is Yahtzee. Welcome to the Tres Chicas. You're here with Michelle and Jillian. Today we're going to talk about, well, I wanted to start off by talking about family. Family, okay. Yes, a little on my mind. Okay, what's been going on in your mind that you want to talk to us about, you want to talk to everybody about? Yeah, I don't have one, so. Well, the direction I was going to go, and it's just like, you know how there's some people that are like, ride or die for their family, and they'll do anything for their family, no matter if they've been wronged, or like, their family is even there for them or not? Yeah. Like, I'm the type of person that like, you know, even if you're my family, if you do something wrong towards me or someone else in my family, like, I'm not going to like, brush it aside just because you're family, you know? Like, I've got some family members I don't talk to anymore because of things like that, you know? Oh, yeah, 100%. I feel like, at this point in our lives, I think, I think in general, I feel like the narrative is steering more in this direction, where people are like, just because you're family doesn't mean you can treat me a certain way, doesn't mean you can like, talk to me a certain way, or doesn't mean I can forgive you for everything that you do to me, you know? And I've definitely, we've definitely had this instance with our, even with parents at this point, you know? Sometimes you just like, aren't seen, aren't heard, they don't understand where you're coming from, and they think it's something like, I don't know how to explain it, but you know what I mean? Yeah, I get it. They try to like, belittle you or try to like, make you feel like a certain type of way. Yeah, I feel like a lot of it too, like, just because you're blood relatives, sometimes it just doesn't mean like, y'all are family. Yeah. I definitely, I think, honestly though, as I've gotten older, maybe with my immediate family, I've become like, really close to, like, in regards of my mom and my dad. Yeah. I, when I was in high school, I know at least myself, like, I used to bicker with my mom a lot more than I do now. Yeah. And I have my days with her, where like, you know, I wanna like, strangle her, you know? I feel like it's a girl thing, you know? Like, girls argue more with their moms. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I get what you're saying. So, recently, like, I mean, I still live with her and I still love with her. But, so there are some days where I just wanna, you know, just strangle her a little bit. But then, there are some days where she's like, my best friend. Yeah. She's like, the only person that I can like, come to. Yeah, especially getting older, because they definitely understand. Even though they were close growing up, you know, like, you're gonna see what I'm talking about one day. Yeah. When I was at work, I think that when I, one of these ladies at work told me, like, she went into a fight with her daughter. And her daughter was like, was like, you know what, like, f this mom. Like, I don't even wanna deal with this. And she was like, her mom, the lady at work, she was like, you know, my daughter's at that point where I'm just her mom. I'm not, this is gonna come to a point where like, I'm gonna be her friend, you know? And I feel like that happens with all of us. Like, maybe not with all of us. I'm not gonna say that. Yeah. But with a lot of girls, like, there comes to a point where your mom becomes your friend. Right. Instead of just your mom, she becomes a person to you. Yeah. Like, you see her in a different light. Yeah. Yeah. You see her in a different light. Right. Yeah. I mean, I feel like, I'm talking more so, like, distant relatives, like, cousins and stuff like that. Like, not to call out specific cousins, right? I mean, granted, I don't talk to all of my cousins. Bro, I'll call out my cousins. My dad's not even a cousin. Your dad's a whole other topic. Yeah, okay. But, like, all of my dad's side of the family is just a shitshow. Oh, yeah. It's so bad. My, I mean, I don't talk to any of my, not any of my cousins, but I literally talk to, like, one or two. And that's basically it. Usually, I don't even talk to the cousins on my dad's side of the family. So, maybe it's just his dad. Maybe it's just his dad. I just go because I don't, my dad's side of the family, I barely talk to. And granted, though, like, half of them are in Mexico. Right. Most of them are in Mexico. But whenever I go there, I feel like, I don't know, I feel like I've never, like, been fully welcomed there, you know? It's like, when I go to Mexico, like, actually, it's like, it's a very, like, small town, small-minded community where it's, like, the girl is, like, this role, the guy is this role. Like, you know, like, there's still those, like, gender roles that they expect. Or, like, if we go out to parties at night, like, they don't want me to go, but they want my brother to go. Keep in mind, my brother's, like, three years younger than me. So, we would go to Mexico when I was, like, 18 and he was, like, 14 or, like, 15. And they're, like, y'all can go out with his friends, but, Michelle, you've got to stay home. And I'm, like, I'm, like, ah. That's annoying. That's such a, like, Hispanic thing. We're, like, I feel like it's, like, an old Hispanic thing. It is. Like, when I, my dad is not like that with me. Like, my dad is not, has never, like, told me you can't do this. So, when I went over there and, like, they were like that with that mentality, I was, like, ah, my dad doesn't talk to me like this. Like, why are you going to talk to me like this, you know? That's good though that your dad isn't like that. Because, I mean, imagine, shoot, you'd be living a horrible life. I would be living a horrible life. I'd be, like, dad, don't talk to me. You know? Because I see, I see those videos of people, like, on TikTok saying, like, oh, like, their dad is like this. They, like, want them to feel like, especially in Hispanic households, like, they're, like, making me dinner if your mom's not home. Like, do this for your brother. Nah, nah, nah. And I'm just, like. Okay, but that, okay, speaking of that though, my brother was like that, which is why I stopped talking to him. Yeah. Like, he, when we were younger, he would be, like, basically treating me. Which one? I ain't never called him that. One in particular, one of my brothers in particular, he was, when we were younger, he had just gotten here from Mexico, right? Yeah. So, like, we were trying to build a bond and stuff. Yeah. But, I mean, he'd be, I guess it was, he was still in, like, old Mexican mentality. Yeah. And he was just, like, you got to serve me my food, you got to bring me my tortilla, you got to do all this shit. And, like, I'm your older brother, you're going to listen to me. And I was, like, fuck that. Yeah. I don't care if you're my older brother. I'm not listening to you. I'm only listening to my parents. Yeah. And, like, we were buttheads so much because he was so adamant on being the older brother. And, like, I have to listen to him. Yeah. And I was just refusing. I was just, like, absolutely not. No, yeah, for sure. I was, like. But we definitely don't have a great relationship. We don't even really talk. Yeah, we really don't. Mm-hmm. But, like, that's what I was going at, you know? Like, I'm definitely, like, for my parents, I'll do whatever. You know? Yeah. Even if they do me wrong. But other than that, you know, I'm not going to, like, let you do whatever the fuck you want. Oh, no, yeah, for sure. I feel like that's fine. I feel like that's fine. But I feel like there's people that do that, though. They're, like, you know, my family is my everything, all of them. I'm going to do whatever I can for every single one of them. I feel like it would be really bad, too, if, like, that's what your parents expected you to do for your brother. Okay, well, shit. That's another story because my mom is like that with my other brother. Really? She's just, like, you've got to be there for him all the time. You guys are going to be the only ones when I'm gone and all this stuff. But I'm just, like, if he doesn't want my help, what do you expect me to do? Yeah, I mean, at the end of the day, it's, like, if he doesn't want to talk to you anymore, then what are you going to do? I can only do so much, you know? Exactly. Oh, my God. Side topic. My mom kind of brought something up like that yesterday about how, like, if she, like, ends up being crazy or, like, having Alzheimer's or dementia, I'm the only person. Like, I don't have any siblings. Oh, no. So I physically have to take care of her. And, like, she doesn't want to be put into, like, an old people home. Yeah. Yeah, I get because I've worked in one and it's really sad. Yeah. It's crazy. Well, I think. That's a lot of, like, to just put on yourself, though. Yeah, because, like, my grandparents now, they're getting to the age where, like, you can notice a lot of changes. And, I mean, they just moved, so they had a lot of stress on them, too. Yeah. So the dimensions are, like, really starting to show more that I'm 80 and 78. Oh, wow. Yeah. So, yeah, they're, like, getting to that age. But, like, my mom has brothers. So if, like, anything, like, if, I mean, even though they live right down the street, like, if we can't get to them, like, she'll just call her brother and he'll be up here in a heartbeat. Oh, wow. Like, we know that. And he'll always be there for his family. But it's, like, I will literally have no one to, like, call. And my stepdad, like, he's going to probably be gone before her. You think? Yeah, because his dad right now, his dad's not even 80, and he has the worst case of Alzheimer's I have ever heard of. Oh, my God. I've heard, though, that, like, having Alzheimer's has to do with some specific thing. I think it's, like, your hearing. Something like that. That's what it starts. Oh, shit. Oh, God. That's how I know it's going to be bad. He's already wearing a hearing aid. Oh, God. Well, he's a hearing aid doctor. He's going to have to promote his product. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's crazy, though. My dad, he's, like, in his 70s or 60s. My dad's getting old, right? Yeah. He doesn't want to accept it. Like, he's having a real hard time at, like, accepting that he's getting older. He can't do the same things he used to when he was younger, and, like, he doesn't want to be on medication and stuff, but it's kind of like he needs to at some point because things are going to get bad, you know? Like, he doesn't trust doctors and stuff. Yeah. You kind of have to. You know, you're getting older. Like, you're going to need some medical help. Yeah. You've got to start trusting some people. Yeah. I think I do have, like, either some, like... I don't think I know. So, my great-grandma, right? She's, like, almost 100 years old. Oh, wow. She has dementia or Alzheimer's or something. So, she lives in Mexico, and she was fine until her husband passed, and then she became really depressed, and she just, like, laid around all the time and blah, blah, blah. Point is, she, like, accustomed herself to... Like, I think that happens to older people. They accustom to stop walking. Yeah, which is a problem. Yeah. Like, you're supposed to keep moving. Yeah, and so she accustomed herself to just be sitting. So, now she's wheelchair-bound. Oh, no. And then she used to, like, at least have some, like... Mobility. Mobility and, like, some thought process. But I think she has dementia or Alzheimer's where she doesn't, like... And she's also mute. She doesn't talk. Or she'll, like, say random words. She'll say a lot of bad words. She'll be, like, that crazy old Mexican lady that says a lot of bad words. Yeah. But other than that, like, nothing is, like... Health-wise, there's nothing wrong with her. It is pretty serious. No, but I mean, like, healthy. Like, body-wise, it's just all in her mind. Oh. She's just, like... Well, that's kind of, like, one of the worst things to go now. Yeah, and it makes me, like, sad because I'm, like, just like a shallow person. Yeah. And I, like, feel like, I don't want that to happen to me. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's, like, more of, like, I don't want that to happen to me. And I feel like I probably will have, like, some sort of, like, memory loss because I already have memory loss. I mean, I think we can prevent that. I feel like we all... I feel like there's also a lot more studies now than there were back then. And I feel like we try to take care of ourselves a little bit more and, like, take our vitamins or whatever. I feel like even older people, they're, like, they don't believe the studies that come out, you know. Yeah. Because when I was pregnant, I was telling my aunt all this stuff that I can't do. And she's, like, why? Like, I did it when I was having kids and they're fine and all this stuff. And I'm just, like, so many more studies have come out that prove that, like, you shouldn't be doing that stuff. Like, taking certain medicine, like, the whole thing with, like, the Advil and stuff. Like... What's wrong with Advil? Some people say take it. Some people say don't take it. Some people say to take it. And, like, I know that recently there was a study, like, if you were to take Tylenol, it was linked to giving kids ADHD. Really? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Well, all I left was Tylenol when we were growing up, so... No, like, pregnant. Oh. I was telling my aunt, like, in general. No, no. Like, I'm, like, dang. I'm, like, I was over here eating Lamin-O-V-A. I didn't like it. I was making, like, candy. Yeah. Oh, no. No. It was just little things. See? You know what? Alzheimer's. Dementia. She's coming my way. Woo-hoo! You got it! Not yet. You just gotta prevent it, you know? Yeah. Get ahead of the game. And, like, the whole thing with, like, moving. I've been telling my mom this so much, because she's getting older, too, you know? Yeah. And she, like, it's a little hard for her to stand up and stuff. Like, if she's on the floor, like, she can't get up. Yeah. And I'm just like, you gotta do exercise. Like, keep your body moving, you know? Because once you stop, that's when your body just begins to shut down and take its spot. Yeah. And I'm just like, like, you gotta do that. If you're scared of turning into your grandma once you're really old. Granted, she's gone a really long time. Yeah. I feel like most people turn out, like, way younger. Yeah, I know. She was, she's kicking it. She's almost, I think she's 100. I think she's 100, okay? Like. Don't. Don't backtrack me. But I'm pretty sure she's in my scope. She's still there. She's kicking it right now. She is. But it's just not a way that I want to live. Right. I remember her when I first went to Mexico. She was this, like, springy little thing just walking back and forth and then rancho. And turn ups would also keep her in her head. Yeah, and then also, like, she was with my great-grandpa at that time. So them two, like, together, they, like, did all the stuff, like, whatever. You know, just the tasks of the day. Just keeping her busy and stuff. And then I think my great-grandpa passed and she, like, slowly started, like, falling. Falling. Yeah. And then the memory and just, I think just, you just, like, shrug. She shouldn't be thinking too much. She just shut it out. So she was, like, you know what? I'm done. Done with life. My dad be like that. Like, I feel like that's what he drinks because he's just so sad and, like, thinks constantly and, like, thinking about shit he shouldn't, you know? Yeah. Like, when his mom passed, he just, like, fell into a deep depression. It was just, like, he would cry over every little thing and, like, just drinks too much. And, like, we couldn't even bring her up after she passed. Yeah. Really? Yeah, because he just immediately started crying. Like, we couldn't talk about it. Yeah. And, like, now we can bring it up a little bit and he'll, like, reveal snippets of his childhood. Yeah. I think it's hard. I think that's also what happened to my mom. Yeah. When my grandma passed away. Granted, like, y'all know, like, that to me was really, really hard. Yeah. But what really sucked, like, was my mom. It was my mom's mom and I'll never get that taken out. But she was also, like, in some way my mom because she, like, helped raise me. Like, my mom would literally drop me off all, every weekend, all summer long, like, with my grandma. Yeah. You grew up with her. So, like, I was in my school with her for, like, three months at a time. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I would go see her constantly. I was the closest, I was the first and closest grandchild. Yeah. So, like, whenever, like, that happened and that she was, like, but she was my mom. Like, she was my mom, Michelle. And I'm just, like. If you think about it, though, think what your mom does. Yeah. Like, as sad as it is. Yeah. If you really think about that shit, like, I was freaking crying right there. No, yeah. And I was crying. And I get her, too. But it's, like, I feel like my feelings were, like, pushed to the side, if that makes any sense. Like. Yeah. She didn't think I should be asked that. But I had to hold it together for her. Right. And I had to be, like, strong. And then everyone would come over and they would be, like, you have to be strong for your mom. You have to be strong for your mom. And it's, like. What about me? What about me? Like, what am I? You all knew how close I was to her. You know what I mean? Right. And it's, like, they mentioned it. Like, oh, you were so close to her. Like, you were going to none. It's, like. Well, what about. Like, you know, like, what about me? Like, the only person that knew how close I was was my grandpa. And he knew, like, I was dealing with it. He's, like, you don't have to, like, mess with me. You don't have to mess with me. You don't have to mess with me. You don't have to mess with me. You don't have to mess with me. You don't have to mess with me. You don't have to mess with me. You don't have to mess with me. You don't have to mess with me. You don't have to mess with me. You don't have to mess with me. You don't have to mess with me. You don't have to mess with me. 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