S3:E1 Charlie's Grovelling Apology

The podcaster discusses his return to the show after a break and a previous incident involving bullying. He mentions a new format for the show, including interviews with guests. The discussion then turns to various topics such as trust funds, boats, and a game of "shag, marry, kill" with certain celebrities. The conversation also touches on Instagram comments and a misunderstanding about being in someone's room. Finally, the podcaster questions the reality of bisexuality. Welcome back, it's been a long time, long awaited, they tried to take us down, they tried to take us down You can't get on air, there's no way, you can't do any more episodes They were wrong, however, they were right in one sense, they were right that it is totally unacceptable the way that I treated Matt O'Neil in season 1, they said we don't condone bullying and I tried to stick up for myself, I was like, hey, it's not bullying, he's just a bitch but they were like, no, for real, it's not right so after much consideration, me and my producer have come to an agreement where I get a significant pay rise to come back to the table and produce this season but I don't bully Matt, so that's the new set up now, I've got a desk I'm trying to work on getting a computer, maybe like a few books, I don't know and also, this audio is going to sound terrible, it's going to sound so bad but we're here for the vibes, we're in the basement I'd also like to go on record and say that Matt's pay rise resulted in me and Matt getting a pay decrease Matt O'Neil pays to be on the podcast What? It used to be give-a-free You didn't tell me this No, you got subbed, right? Remember, no, you do know, we've had this conversation Remember, you... Okay I don't think he gets it, but there we go So, we've got a new format for the show this year We've stepped it up, we're going to try to get one interview every episode We're going to have a new person in, tell us about their life Tell us about what they've got to tell us Is there free reign to tell the world anything, their little speaker's corner But it's just because you guys loved the Shaun Kingston episode so much Yeah, the Shaun Kingston episode, they loved it so much So we'll bring that back and we'll try it every episode to see what you guys think We've got some really exciting guests lined up So, our guest this week is none other than sex god, true king, romantic weapon This is true Charlie Butler Thank you, thank you I will say, I'm trying not to breathe in too deeply, but I think we'll... Okay, yeah, for real, what are we putting the chances of asbestos in here? Like, high You think it's fine? Yeah So, I want definitions Okay What's a trust fund? Good question A trust fund is a tax structure where my money can be put into a trust and distributed to people It's an infinite money glitch Right, so what you're saying is that you have a financial advantage which you have yourself put nothing into That's right, yes How does it make you feel? I feel fine He feels fine, no guilt Okay, Charlie, what is a boat? A boat is a craft that floats on water Do you have a boat? No Yes you do, okay I don't own a boat Who owns the boat? Well, which boat? Oh, which boat? Oh, it's a revelation on the podcast No, no, no, there's only one boat Who owns the boat? It's my grandad and my family And you have access to it? So, yeah, yes So, Charlie, how big's the boat? I want metres The boat is normal Can I say a piece after the question? Okay, the boat is a normal sized boat Bigger than our boat Right, okay, so a normal sized boat Ladies and gentlemen, what do we think a normal sized boat is? We'll do a little poll of the sofa Okay, what are we talking? I don't know about metres, but I think like a speedboat or a canal boat Speedboat or a canal boat? Yeah, like a 20 metre speedboat maybe 20 metre speedboat Bigger than that Right, okay, metres You're asking to judge distances which I can't do Okay, so he's just an idiot then Wait, how many bedrooms? I don't know, it's got one or two One or two, so two Two bedroom, it's a two bedroom boat And it's not like one of those shit boats that you get on the canal That just like does nothing It's seaworthy, it's a proper yacht I mean, I wouldn't take it on to the last ocean, but yeah Okay, Charlie, are you aware that sometimes I've said some things that are not very nice about you? Yeah, painfully aware, yeah One of my favourites Was when I said that your penis looked like a slug With a grape on the end Yeah, I remember that, you haven't seen my penis Can I just say that Obviously, I know everything in life is unfair Especially student finance system is unfair But I have a huge deal of respect for you And how hard you've worked to get to where you are And I think you're a very cool lad And I understand No, I'm on his side now I'm not gonna lie, he's running me over I understand why you were shocked and frustrated When you learned of my financial situation But it kind of just, you know It is what it is, I hope you don't think less of me for it But why do you only apologise to Matt? Because Matt's the most offensive But I apologise to everyone else So, I feel wonderful We've brought a little social conscience moment to Charlie Butler And we can now progress onto a far better segment Which is President of the Week Oh, it's not, okay President of the Week You know, I've thought about this And I thought I don't want to break format on the debut of the new season So, I think just It has to be President Obama Why wouldn't it be President Obama Great choice President Obama, do you know what I think He said Kanye West was a jackass or something What, he's like I thought that aged very well True James, do you agree? But has Kanye West just actually seen God? No Maybe Do you not see the most recent thing he's said? Just behaving like a bigot Yeah The DEFCON one Yeah, that wasn't very good President Obama is my President of the Week Me too, yeah Well done, well done So, Charlie The Olympic calibre ladies man Yes No, that's not true I want you to shag, marry, kill Megan Fox, Mila Kunis and Liz Truss We know you're a big fan of the latter Okay, so marry Liz Truss I'd What? Marry Liz Truss I'd shag Mila Kunis And I'd kill Megan Fox Because Mila Kunis is fit as fuck Yeah, Mila Kunis is nice To be honest And marry Liz Truss Megan Fox might find her in my blood or something And you'd like that? No Oh, so you're killing Megan Fox Yeah, yeah, yeah Well, I'm definitely killing Megan Fox Yeah, yeah, yeah Not marrying big Lizzy But why isn't Megan Fox just fuck? Because Megan Fox is hot Why do you want anything to do with Liz Truss? Just kill Liz Truss Because she's fucking fit, Lizzy I'm actually going to be sick I'm actually going to be sick She does have tremendous jugs though No, I'm not Like, no, no, no To be fair, she did like win me over Like a little bit at the start Because the BBC kept playing the same clip Of her getting out that car And I'm sure the producer knew what he was doing Like, it was just The sound can't go out Like me, like me It can't Like me and my friends We were just sat there, smashing a zoot And we all just like concurred Like, on the day Wow So she did win me over And then like Obviously she lost it So then I've got another question, Charlie Yeah, yeah, yeah In your interview What was it like in Nicky's room? What was it like in Nicky's room? Yeah, I'd like to use this as a chance To address this matter Which has been badly riled The posts on Instagram comments Should we not explain who Nicky is? Instagram comments? I didn't know there were Instagram comments Oh, sorry, you want to be caught off guard? Maybe put it on a private Instagram Oh, you don't You don't actually know I was in Nicky's room You were just asking No, no, no I saw it on I saw the picture I didn't see the Like, what the comments were on your posts What were the comments? Did Nicky comment? Nicky did comment Oh, no Okay, so to start with I commented I can explain And I'm with a nervous emoji And Nicky replied Can you? So then I think Nicky told Nicky to comment this To freak me out Because Basically On record, evil And Nicky comments Why are you in my room, mate? Tags me Question mark Laughing face emoji And I said Oh, amazing crying emoji I knew that was a mistake And Maisie Finished the conversation with I know nothing And it says Just caught you in the act Okay I'd like to explain That the origin of that picture is I was in Maisie's room It's looking bad It's looking bad, Charlie It's the end of this party I was in Maisie's room Which, as we know Is obviously Nicky's room And when I left Maisie's room Maisie Because She liked tormenting me Pleasing with me To go into Nicky's room To get a picture Her original plan Her original plan Was to me Lay on Nicky's bed And I said no To get a picture of me standing up And the only reason I did it Is Maisie gave me Her really sad face And I couldn't say no Oh my god This man's such a simp Yeah I simp You've got to cut this bit out Yeah I simp for Maisie Sorry, Katie But It was him, not us Yeah, okay And Nicky's room was I didn't see much of it But it looked very Orderly and nice Nicky's room looked very Ordinary and nice Orderly Orderly Yeah Like an autistic whale Just like an I don't know Ah, okay That's cool An autistic whale What's it going on about? No, that's a That's a decent question So It's a decent question That's a reasonable question Charlie Yes Is bisexuality Yes Fundamentally Like actually real Okay That's an interesting question Yes Yes And I'd say Yes Because I have attracted To my My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My My